THE BAND: THE BEACH BOYS (SORT OF)
THE ALBUM: COCKTAIL SOUNDTRACK
THE SONG: KOKOMO
Kokomo is one of the greatest songs in human history, which has nothing to say of it's actual quality. Sure, technically, it's probably shit, but I honestly can't tell. It was the first song I ever truly loved, long before I was even mildly self-aware or had anything resembling discretion (a trait i seemed to have gained and thankfully lost again). Everytime I hear it I become a four year old in the back of a golden 1984 Toyota Van with the Cocktail soundtrack blaring on repeat while going god nows where. I have very fuzzy memories of being somewhere in the mountains with a bunch of weird people and like ice skating or some shit with this bitch on a walkman on repeat. FROM THE FLORIDA KEYS. This was before i knew who brian wilson was or that mike love was a cunt, but the (florida) key(s) difference is that Mike Love is a great cunt, maybe the greatist cunt, and Kokomo is the cuntiest song he ever wrote, probably the cuntiest song anyone has ever written (although Student Demonstration Time on Sunflower is pretty mind bogglingly cunty in other ways, as is Transcendental Meditation on the friends-20/20 two-fer. and jesus, BE TRUE TO YOUR f-ing School, man, god, I could go on all day.) but the point is that Mike Love writes songs like Coleman Francis makes films, with the brutish intensity of someone so clueless and removed from common sense, not to mention high off smoking their own ego resin, that one cannot help but laugh at the products attempt to pass by unnoticed among its commonly rote brethren. Yet, unlike Coleman Francis, whose best friend was Anthony Cardoza and who simply died in the back of a chevy in the parking lot of a liquor store, Mike Love happened to be from Hawthorne and not Yucca Flats and Mike Love hasnt had the common courtesy to die yet. So he got it made. He never even had to surf. Shit. And as the Wilson brothers drop like flies and Brian's brain continues to rot unamusingly in his sober old age, we are left with Mike Love touring the county fairs of America with a crew of sub-Alan Jardine pranksters. I mean, when Bruce Johnston is the only other legitimate member you've got out there you can't get much more cunty, did he write take a load off your feet, pete? does it matter? he could have, man, that's another great one. None of this is even a patch on the film the Song Kokomo comes from Cocktail. Simply the most deliriously mind-bogglingly homo-erotic piece of cockamo ever spewed from t cruz's suri-yielding girth. IT's a shame bryan brown never quite had the cultural impact of paul hogan because well, tween an FMK with them two and say jon polito, paul hogan's drawing the K. and polito was kicked off of homicide life on the street for being too ugly! N E wayz, so yeah, KOKOMO roolz and I used to listen to it on a walkman while i punched other kids in the balls at pre-school recess, which is why i still love the song so much today and why it always makes me smile and why Mike Love is a better songwriter then fuck, someone who sucks. PEace.
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what a glorious assault/tribute. hits home, because the first concert i ever went to was a beach boys concert. i was about ten years old, and i remember singing along to kokomo. that show made me very happy.
anyway, at this point, when i hear what the beach boys used to be, i feel a little bit worse about kokomo, but in the long run, nobody can fully denounce what they liked at age ten.
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